Understanding the Stages of Grief: What to Expect and How to Cope

Grief is one of the most difficult and personal experiences we go through. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a major life change, grief can leave you feeling overwhelmed, disoriented, and unsure of how to move forward. While everyone grieves differently, many people experience common emotional stages along the way. Knowing what these stages are, and that they’re a normal part of the healing process, can help you navigate the journey with more compassion for yourself and others.

What Are the Stages of Grief?

The idea of grief happening in "stages" was first introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. She identified five emotional responses often experienced during grief. These aren’t steps to be completed in order, and not everyone will experience all of them. Grief is not linear. People move in and out of different stages, sometimes all in one day.

Denial

Denial is often the first reaction to loss. It’s the mind’s way of protecting us from overwhelming pain. You might find yourself thinking, “This can’t be happening,” or feeling numb. This stage gives you time to process what’s happened at your own pace. It’s a natural and necessary pause before deeper emotions emerge.

Anger

As the reality of the loss sets in it’s common to feel anger. This could be directed at a person, a situation, or even at yourself. You might feel frustrated that life feels unfair or out of control. Anger is a way of expressing the pain underneath and can be an important part of healing if it’s acknowledged and understood.

Bargaining

In this stage, the mind tries to regain a sense of control. You may find yourself thinking about "what if" or "if only" scenarios. This is often a way of trying to make sense of the loss or imagine how it could have been avoided. Bargaining can also come with feelings of guilt, as we replay events and wish we had done something differently.

Depression

Sadness and deep sorrow are common as the full weight of the loss settles in. This isn’t something to be fixed or rushed. Sadness and sorrow are a natural response to something significant being gone. You might feel tired, disconnected, or lose interest in daily activities. This stage can feel heavy, but it’s also a sign that you are beginning to come to terms with your loss.

Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened or that you’ve moved on. It means you’re beginning to adjust to a new reality. You may start to find moments of peace, reconnect with daily life, and feel ready to take small steps forward. Acceptance is about integrating the loss into your life in a way that allows you to keep living, while still honouring what was lost.

There Is No Right Way to Grieve

Not everyone experiences these stages, and that’s okay. Some people feel sadness more than anger, others move between feelings without warning. Grief is deeply personal. What matters most is allowing yourself to feel what you feel, without judgment.

Support can come in many forms. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family, to counsellors, support groups, or even just have some quiet time alone. It’s important to reach out if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Grieving isn’t something to go through alone.

Healing Takes Time

There’s no timeline for grief. Some days will be harder than others, and healing doesn’t mean forgetting. Over time, the pain may soften, and memories may bring more comfort than sadness. Allow yourself to move at your own pace, be gentle with yourself, and know that feeling joy again doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring. It simply means you’re healing.